russel peters rendition of a classic bollywood film plot
- fade in -



boy meets girl.
girl meets boy.
they fall in love.
but they can't be together.
boy is a dishwasher.

so the girl's parents forbid her from ever seeing the boy
so the girl runs away from home
usually to an open field

not just an open field,
but the most beautiful open field
sprawling green grass for smiles
nothing but green grass and sky
and she's running in the field with tears in her eyes
and her boobs are bouncing...

and she's running and crying and it's sunshine
and all of it sudden it starts to rain
and there's not a cloud in the sky
and it starts to piss down

and she doesn't go, shit it's raining,
she swirls and screams...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

she starts singing and dancing in the rain
and out of nowhere, the boy she loves appears
and somehow as he got there, he's planted a tree
and he's standing there with a cool actor pose



and their eyes meet, and their faces light up



and they run toward each other in slow motion
and HIS boobs start bouncing..

and they're running and they're running
and they rush past each other
and she thinks it'll be more fun to have a game
of hide and fucking seek
and she goes to the tree and circles it singing



and the guy thinks it's really cool too and then
after half an hour of some stupid chase around the tree
and rolling on the grass and he finally catches her

then... he may get
i) he gets shot in the ass and
ii) they're in each other arms, he says the magic words..
and he leans in and she leans in and they get closer and closer and then
she starts singing and runs away again!

come back here bitch! i'm not fucking done yett.....

- end credits -