blatantly ripped from http://pinkshoefetish.blogspot.com
Dating 101
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. For decades Men have been trying to figure out the intricate, delicate and complex workings of the female mind but to abso -fucking-lutely no avail. Why do we females flock to the toilet in herds? Why do we keep asking you if we are fat? Why do we spend thousands of dollars on makeup, clothes and shoes and nag at you when you spend the same amount on your car, computer or toys? Why do chocolates, flowers and diamonds<---most important... make us happy?
We don't do this just to annoy u guys. We do actually have a very valid reason.. We just don't know what that reason is....
haha Ok... Lets take it down a notch. Let's stop figuring out what makes each other tick and start trying to make each other happy. Guys with girl problems.. yup you... I am going to try to help you make your girlfriend (or girl friend to be) happier.. Not because i think you are incapable but because i think that guys and girls have a totally different train of thought that unless u are a total SNAG... you probably have the same problem as the other 99.9% heterosexual males out there..
Tip Number 1 ( For males buayaing girls)
1. You just met this girl and you guys have a chat. You get her number and the next day you call her for a dinner/movie date.
Firstly, if u get the Pizza Hut delivery line or a taxi driver uncle picks up the phone.. you are basically screwed over. She has NO interest in you what so ever. She gave u a bogus number..
SO... let's say she actually DOES pick up the phone (Congratulations! You've at least passed the first and easiest stage..) and you ask her out but she says: " I am sorry, i am kinda busy maybe next time?" and you're like" WTF!?! yesterday she seemed interested! "
Well, don't give up. This could mean 2 things. One could be that she treats u as a friend or two she's playing hard to get ( because males always want what they cant get...)
Ask her out again and if this time she says: " sorry i cant make it on that day but what about next tuesday?" I say right on!! You're on the right track!
On the other hand, if she says:" Errr... no i not free sorry.." I say you back out gracefully before u lose anymore pride and stay friends... heh
Tip Number 2 ( For Guys in General)
What do u say when a girl asks you if she's fat? I have subdivded the answers into 3 catergories..
Catergory 1
If u are just a guy friend... I suggest you make a face that shows utter shock and disbelief (Please practice this at home... It will come in handy) and then answer : " WHAT?!?! YOU FAT?! No lah.. please lor.. you so slim.. please eat more!"
AND THATS IT!!! Don't go on anymore about how skinny we are or our next question would be " Am i too skinny?" When you reach that stage... i dont think anyone can help you...
Catergory 2
If you are a boyfriend and she asks you casually... I suggest you do the same as the catergory 1 guys. But do practice more on the face because as girlfriends, we can read you very well.
Catergory 3
However, if she is being serious like maybe she says:" Dear, i trust your judgement and i really dont wanna go out looking fat. If you cant tell me the truth then who can i trust!! Tell me do i look fat in this? "
When it comes to this point i suggest you tell her the truth. But be kind. Like instead of being so fucking insensitive and say" yeah you look fat" ...
You could try saying" i dont think you are fat but i think you should tone up more." That way she will think yeah.. i dont work out.. i got reason to be abit flabby... haha
Tip Number 4 ( For Guys with girl friends)
Have you ever seen your girlfriend sulking beside you and u have absolutely NO IDEA why?!?! Then you ask her:" Hey! whats wrong?" She answers curtly:" Nothing." Don't be a gondu and just say "ok" then go back to your own world of war craft and cars... THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG...
ok so some of u are more sensitive and are able to detect some kind of trouble brewing in that little mind of hers and u ask " I know there's something wrong.. tell me!"
She gives u the look and looks away.. She gets even MORE pissed because you dont even KNOW the problem! u think WTF HOW?!?! so u keep pestering her whats wrong and she gets more and more pissed
So what should you do from here? I think in the first place guys shouldnt pester girls about whats wrong.. That would only make things worse.
I suggest you sit her down somewhere (if you are in orchard road) and run around like mad to buy a flower/chocolate (doesnt have to be expensive.. I think at this point you would rather spend $5 and not go through all that shit) and present it to her saying:" I am a stupid idiot... i donno what i did wrong... please forgive me.."
If that doesnt work (wah that heartless bitch), i suggest you do something special for her... like cooking for her or giving her a back rub... Seriously, it doesnt have to be expensive...girls only care about the small stuff...
Tip Number 5 (for guys with girlfriends or girlfriends to be)
You are at a dinner and the food is good. You think about her and u call her and ask if she wants anything. She says no. Girls LOVE surprises. Even if she says no, ta bao something she likes for her and bring it to her house. She will be incredibly touched and
IF in the case she doesnt want it (but is still touched) YOU WILL HAVE EXTRA FOOD TO EAT! yay! win win situation... hahah... trust me.. it will win you alot of brownie points..
In conclusion, Girls are acutally very easy to please. (but i think guys easier haha). Girls when truly in love look for sweet little things u do for her like fetching her around, walking her to class, buying her favourite donut or just be there when you need her. ( i was just kidding about the diamonds)
Sigh... haha i know i have stereo typed like EVERYTHING in this entry... But i was trying to relieve my ennui caused by returning to Purdue after the fun 4 days at NY/ Penn... SIGH....
Warning: This entry is NOT an informative entry. Do not take seriously or dire consequences will occur...
haha... some "tips" for the clueless mcp i guess...
Dating 101
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. For decades Men have been trying to figure out the intricate, delicate and complex workings of the female mind but to abso -fucking-lutely no avail. Why do we females flock to the toilet in herds? Why do we keep asking you if we are fat? Why do we spend thousands of dollars on makeup, clothes and shoes and nag at you when you spend the same amount on your car, computer or toys? Why do chocolates, flowers and diamonds<---most important... make us happy?
We don't do this just to annoy u guys. We do actually have a very valid reason.. We just don't know what that reason is....
haha Ok... Lets take it down a notch. Let's stop figuring out what makes each other tick and start trying to make each other happy. Guys with girl problems.. yup you... I am going to try to help you make your girlfriend (or girl friend to be) happier.. Not because i think you are incapable but because i think that guys and girls have a totally different train of thought that unless u are a total SNAG... you probably have the same problem as the other 99.9% heterosexual males out there..
Tip Number 1 ( For males buayaing girls)
1. You just met this girl and you guys have a chat. You get her number and the next day you call her for a dinner/movie date.
Firstly, if u get the Pizza Hut delivery line or a taxi driver uncle picks up the phone.. you are basically screwed over. She has NO interest in you what so ever. She gave u a bogus number..
SO... let's say she actually DOES pick up the phone (Congratulations! You've at least passed the first and easiest stage..) and you ask her out but she says: " I am sorry, i am kinda busy maybe next time?" and you're like" WTF!?! yesterday she seemed interested! "
Well, don't give up. This could mean 2 things. One could be that she treats u as a friend or two she's playing hard to get ( because males always want what they cant get...)
Ask her out again and if this time she says: " sorry i cant make it on that day but what about next tuesday?" I say right on!! You're on the right track!
On the other hand, if she says:" Errr... no i not free sorry.." I say you back out gracefully before u lose anymore pride and stay friends... heh
Tip Number 2 ( For Guys in General)
What do u say when a girl asks you if she's fat? I have subdivded the answers into 3 catergories..
Catergory 1
If u are just a guy friend... I suggest you make a face that shows utter shock and disbelief (Please practice this at home... It will come in handy) and then answer : " WHAT?!?! YOU FAT?! No lah.. please lor.. you so slim.. please eat more!"
AND THATS IT!!! Don't go on anymore about how skinny we are or our next question would be " Am i too skinny?" When you reach that stage... i dont think anyone can help you...
Catergory 2
If you are a boyfriend and she asks you casually... I suggest you do the same as the catergory 1 guys. But do practice more on the face because as girlfriends, we can read you very well.
Catergory 3
However, if she is being serious like maybe she says:" Dear, i trust your judgement and i really dont wanna go out looking fat. If you cant tell me the truth then who can i trust!! Tell me do i look fat in this? "
When it comes to this point i suggest you tell her the truth. But be kind. Like instead of being so fucking insensitive and say" yeah you look fat" ...
You could try saying" i dont think you are fat but i think you should tone up more." That way she will think yeah.. i dont work out.. i got reason to be abit flabby... haha
Tip Number 4 ( For Guys with girl friends)
Have you ever seen your girlfriend sulking beside you and u have absolutely NO IDEA why?!?! Then you ask her:" Hey! whats wrong?" She answers curtly:" Nothing." Don't be a gondu and just say "ok" then go back to your own world of war craft and cars... THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG...
ok so some of u are more sensitive and are able to detect some kind of trouble brewing in that little mind of hers and u ask " I know there's something wrong.. tell me!"
She gives u the look and looks away.. She gets even MORE pissed because you dont even KNOW the problem! u think WTF HOW?!?! so u keep pestering her whats wrong and she gets more and more pissed
So what should you do from here? I think in the first place guys shouldnt pester girls about whats wrong.. That would only make things worse.
I suggest you sit her down somewhere (if you are in orchard road) and run around like mad to buy a flower/chocolate (doesnt have to be expensive.. I think at this point you would rather spend $5 and not go through all that shit) and present it to her saying:" I am a stupid idiot... i donno what i did wrong... please forgive me.."
If that doesnt work (wah that heartless bitch), i suggest you do something special for her... like cooking for her or giving her a back rub... Seriously, it doesnt have to be expensive...girls only care about the small stuff...
Tip Number 5 (for guys with girlfriends or girlfriends to be)
You are at a dinner and the food is good. You think about her and u call her and ask if she wants anything. She says no. Girls LOVE surprises. Even if she says no, ta bao something she likes for her and bring it to her house. She will be incredibly touched and
IF in the case she doesnt want it (but is still touched) YOU WILL HAVE EXTRA FOOD TO EAT! yay! win win situation... hahah... trust me.. it will win you alot of brownie points..
In conclusion, Girls are acutally very easy to please. (but i think guys easier haha). Girls when truly in love look for sweet little things u do for her like fetching her around, walking her to class, buying her favourite donut or just be there when you need her. ( i was just kidding about the diamonds)
Sigh... haha i know i have stereo typed like EVERYTHING in this entry... But i was trying to relieve my ennui caused by returning to Purdue after the fun 4 days at NY/ Penn... SIGH....
Warning: This entry is NOT an informative entry. Do not take seriously or dire consequences will occur...
haha... some "tips" for the clueless mcp i guess...
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