recently i've come across a whole bunch of people who have gotten together, solemnised their marriages, then let their marriages deteriorate and eventually file for separation, and divorce. what goes on in the minds of these people? it seems in most cases, the people whom i know aren't the ones that initiate the situation, but are those that are left behind, victims of some sort of weird blow fate has dealt them with. what went wrong? how did it go wrong? can't anything be done? maybe if we understood ourselves better, we'd be better able to understand others and not dive headfirst into such troubles...

and worse still, if you have kids.. wah.. then it's major man..

this whole sars situation is getting out of hand as well. it seems there's a rumour about it being airborne, and maybe there's going to be mayhem. imagine everyone having to stay at home, maciam like "outbreak" the movie. quite scary the thought. there were people at ecp wearing masks. mad fools. then my student cancelled her lesson, i guess better safe than sorry. and i'm not complaining.

i think it's a good time to be resting well, eating well and sleeping well to build up your defences against any kind of infection, since you don't really want your immune system to be weakened. so stay healthy, please!

this is a busy week, so i may not update daily, since everyday's going to be pretty mundane, school study and sleep... with a midterm that i think will be a killer, it's not going to be easy this week, and there's a 3261 30 minute presentation to the lecturers for the project, another tough piece of shit.

have a good week ahead. i'm looking forward to passing the whole week without much hassle.

take care.

what happens when a two people are together, but yet one party isn't exactly serious about the whole relationship?
one side wants commitment, trust, respect, devotion, the other's just looking for companionship, someone to hang out with, to have fun, and basically be there when circumstances permit. it's difficult to strike a balance, and i guess if you don't make things clear, leading the other party on will have disasterous consequences. or sometimes when both agree, but eventually things get too serious, one party wants out, but the other's dived headfirst into the whole situation.. then trouble brews.

sometimes when you've been together for too long, it's another problem. you become so used to life, so comfortable with that someone in your life that even though the spark is gone, even though feelings aren't there, you're still together. it's become a convenience, a habit.. and sometimes these habits become too restrictive.. or when you finally do break it off, it's too much to handle when you realise you're suddenly alone and there's nothing else to do.. and so you turn back to seeing him/her again..
and the vicious cycle begins again...

would moving on help? maybe. maybe not. i guess it varies from person to person.

today was a pretty interesting day, learning more about people, hanging out and having gossip sessions with the skaters is always very interesting. stories of days gone by, stories that are still unfolding, it's always interesting to hear gossip. i think my skating hasn't improved, and there's still so much more to learn.. it's terrible when you've reached a plateau, it's either you maintain, or you fall off.. and i think i'm falling off the bloody plateau! grr.

i wonder if older women are as good as people always say they are.. but then again i doubt i'll ever get a chance to find out.. not when i'm up to my neck with work and exams and school commitments...

till tomorrow...

sleepy and tired.
are you a closet homosexual? think hard. don't jump to conclusions. assess yourself. perhaps you're a closet homosexual. don't be homophobic, our non straight friends are people too and they have feelings. always spare a thought for others.
bless those war victims, and those sars victims too.

nite.

is meeting someone an accident, or something that is part of a big plan? is falling in love an accident of friendship? is breaking up an accident of falling in love?
sometimes it's not difficult to see what lies ahead of us in our lives, but very often we choose to ignore what we know will happen, maybe everyone is stubborn. we don't want to face up to reality and go ahead and meet life's challenges. but how many people do you know go headfirst into difficulty and try their very best to overcome adversity through sheer determination and perserverance? many of us just prefer to sit back, relax, and try to dream of better days in the hope that some of these difficulties we face just pass us by... somehow.. when that happens, life passes you by and you're gonna be obsolete soon...

my parents returned from manila and osaka today and it's great to have them back. i'm glad they enjoyed their trip.

i find that the efforts that teams have taken in the it marketing project to try and gain exposure isn't going to exact returns for them as much as they would like to. it's easy to prefer teams with nicer packaging, better "gifts", but often i sit back and look at all they've done and wonder, in the real world, would people really care? i think investors and vcs would look further and deeper and not just look at the surface level...

i'm still preparing my infobox for 4265 now in school with my friends. going to present it to dr hassler tomorrow. i hope it goes well..

i think we should not dwell too much on the past but move ahead.. but of course not dwelling doesn't mean not remembering and learning from the past... so let's all work hard and look ahead with courage and determination...

when 2 people get together it's very fun, very exciting, there's lotsa laughter and joy and sweetness..

but what does happen when they split up? where did the fun, excitement, laughter, joy and sweetness go to? did it turn to dread, terror, tears, sadness and bitterness?
why do things have to become like that? sometimes we just can't control i suppose, but why let a split up destroy everything that was ever once there? why would you want to avoid someone you once shared your most intimate secrets with? was it all for nothing? all a lie? i know it's difficult sometimes and escape is the easiest thing to do, but i think the best way to help yourself move on is to face the facts, don't avoid each other, but maintain things at a fair, platonic level. it's difficult, but i tend to think of it this way,
"breaking up doesn't mean it never happened, go out and talk to your ex, he/she probably can be your best friend"

today was another wheezin day. i slept at like 4 and woke at 9 to get to school to meet my supervisor. he's a nice old man, and he puts me at ease. i look forward to working with him. it's easy to be motivated when you aren't being threatened. humans are complex, but i guess i'm trying to achieve self actualization here.. hehehe.. think maslow's heirarchy.
anyways i came home and cleaned up my pets, let them bask, did the laundry, took a nap, woke up, studied, had dinner, studied more, watched tv.. did a tutorial.. hahaha.. boring stuff isn't it...

i bought this loreal spray.. it's styling water that i've used before, nice nice smell, and it's not sticky. problem is that it's really expensive. haha.
oh. i got a haircut. now i look like some army boy again.. hurhurhur.. cept i'm too fat...

gotta be out rushing more work tomorrow, it's 4265 this time.. maybe they should close the university too...

sometimes i wonder what relationships actually do to people

couples that can't spend time and be together, have this silent unwritten rule of truth and honesty and commitment to each other, but sometimes, you just cannot reveal the whole truth. imagine if the girl wants to go out with her friends, and knowing her character, she's more likely to have more male friends than female friends, and this results in creating some sort of tension between her and her bf to begin with. it's not easy to continue to maintain links with your friends after you get attached... and it's not like you wanna make new friends, or your friends want to go be friends with your bf, or your bf wants to know your friends. i guess the bf would be more willing and feel secure if his gf was hanging out with HIS male friends, and not HER male friends. but i guess if they're apart, say in a long distance relationship, there comes the problem of really having no chance to be able to see each other as and when you need and want to. imagine if the girl goes out with her friends, the bf starts feeling insecure and lonely or vulnerable, and he wants to see her, it's easy to just pop by.. esp in the case of Singapore..
so now it becomes a case of you wanna go hang out with your friends, but you feel bad cuz your partner doesn't feel comfortable with it... but you don't want to sacrifice your friends.. striking a balance is just so difficult isn't it

it's been a busy day today. rushing to and fro, filming and taking shots of places and people and things for an advertisement due later today... and now we're combining efforts to produce a tv commercial... it's really so tedious.. this project, module, CS3261, is absolutely not worth the MCs...

if you didn't tell the whole truth, would it be lying? you don't say anything that isn't true, but you just don't say everything about the truth. so do you consider yourself to be lying?

finance quiz thursday, 4265 presentation friday, 4265 midterm next friday... major major major stress...

another sleepless night. i've finally decided that i'm not better off alone.
sometimes it's just so pleasant and fulfilling if you had someone to call, to talk to, to gripe to, to love,
to hold and cherish. hahaa... i'll let life and love take it's own course in this department! haha

schoolwork occupies me more than anything, and it's terrible, i didn't do well for my finance midterm, it's about time
to buck up and work hard! wargh! and the finals are coming. it really is time i studied harder.

i'll probably not update as often as i used to before, given that i want to concentrate on studying, so i guess you
readers my friends will have to bear with it. i can't afford to let my cap drop. so.. yeah.. gotta study.

no more skating and ecp and what not.. have to be chao mugger already....

1 pm. after lunch. sleepy. zzzzzzzzzz.

what a boring sunday. at least i managed to get some work done. i've got to rush for 4265 project.. that's 35% man! and then there's the 40% midterm to contend with.. wahlanz.. that's next week.

so what next? 2 assignments due tomorrow, law and 4264...

everyone tells me about how boring singapore is.. and how there's nothing to do.. but i guess that's when they don't see pleasure in what they're doing...

sharing your life with someone is a blessing. and who says there aren't any things worth doing in singapore... actually when you're enjoying someone's company, simple things like sitting down reading a storybook together, sharing a milkshake, feeding each other ice cream, barefoot walks by the seaside.. lots of things to do in my opinion, it's just who you're doing it with...

i'm tired.. so sleepy.. now i'm having a barrage of mixed emotions.

i'm kinda sad, but not very, kinda lonely but not very.. i dunno too. i'll be better once i get back to doing work seriously. had lunch at my cousin's place today, and had fun with many people's dogs, my cous' dog, my friend's dog at his birthday party.

dogs are just such lovely creatures aren't they... you can't communicate with them and yet you feel their warmth and love.. sigh i sometimes wish it was like that with humans.. just go with the flow, let your emotions flow and the other party will feel you and maybe come to understand you much better.

i bought the daredevil ost and norah jones special ed today.. not bad.. retail therapy.. but definitely not wallet friendly! hahaha...

sometimes people say something, but they do another. so why say that something in the first place? is it because doing that other thing is something that the person is ashamed of? and they use something to try and cover it up? strange strange. i wonder myself.

wouldn't it be nice to have someone to cuddle and hug and fall asleep with.. wake up in each others arms.. have breakfast together, and then do things tgether, like go out, study...

what i'm listening to now.
Norah Jones - Come Away With Me

hehehe.. i'm tired and cranky. not enough sleep and i think i'm switching between happy and sad moods.. moodswings come so much more easily when you're tired. heck i don't even think i'm that coherent.

so today i came home from sch, not before bumping a kerb with my right rear tyre.. i realise my sense of perception is skewed when i've not enough sleep. bad bad. always a learning experience when i drive. so i got home, took a short nap, then woke up had lunch and went down to ecp.

the tradeshow was just a little event with a few products on show, some food and drinks. not too bad. interesting to see most of the people in the skating community, the traders coming around and hanging out together, from skateline to singapore inline to hvper to sportzters and skatesports and what not..

then we, d0do, judea, ced, cccp and me went to skate up and down ecp, not surprisingly we met some of the customers that we served during the skatefest. and it's quite nice to hear they like the skates and that they remember us! hahaha.

it's a nice feeling to be skating without things on your mind awhile.. not that there aren't but that i was too tired to have them at the forefront of my thoughts, and it's so nice to be carefree and skating. it's been a long time since i felt that. it's a difficult feeling to describe but it's nice, to skate and do anything you want, not having a care or worry.

and so i went for dinner with my folks, they're going to manila and osaka till thursday, home alone till then! gotta catch up with my 4265 and everything else. no slacking! but i guess it's good. i did do constructive work while my folks were away last semester.

it's going to be a boring weekend full of studies i suppose, everyone's busy with their work and nobody's exactly free to go out with me... aiz.. such a plight.

i guess it's fun to have a place where you can think about your day and have some emotional outlet.. especially when i've got no one else to really crap and unload onto...
sometimes it's so much easier talking to a person, but who's going to be there all the time for you? it's quite difficult to find someone who understands you isn't it? but if you do hold on tightly. don't let go. but don't suffocate. =)

time to sleep.. 7am to be at the airport.. hope tomorrow is as interesting...

alright.. what an early entry... it's 5.31 and i'm still up with my friends doing my 3261 report.. and we were supposed to do our 3261 advertisement discussion at 12am.. hehehehe.. we're like 5 to 6 hours slow... hiakhiakhiak..

anyways i managed to catch up with a secondary school friend.. we've been apart for so long! ahaha.. and she's grown up into a very different girl.. but still fun and funky.. gonna go out with her next week for a show, after she gets back from sepang.. not bad eh.. racer girl.. hiakhiak...

i've got 2 deadlines on monday, and a presentation on friday, then a mid term that's 40% of my final next next week.. wahbiang.. busy man.. and exams coming, which means holidays coming too! yeahhh!!!

anyway i got assigned a HYP which doesn't seem to difficult at the outset.. i just hope it's going to be able to contribute to research.. which gives me a better chance for a higher grade...
H13090.. IS research methods.. i hope i won't die doing this.. hiakhiak..

anyway i'm going to be very free after my exams which end on 5th may... want to ask me out? hahaha.. those reading this should have me on their icq lists.. so just tell me! hahahaha... so lame.. advertising myself on my blog..

hope i clear my deadlines without any trouble!

take care y'all

cross fingers and pray. i hope i get a good project!

not enough sleep. not enough time. not enough love!

NO LOVE! >(

ah today i went to talk to the fyp sups... not very promising. the project i wanted is out of reach, and i'm left with projects that aren't likely to be easy, and i find that i'm lacking in requirements for some projects, which really is shit... i also don't know what can be done about that... i'm going to see another sup tomorrow and see how things go... and if everything turns out well i'll put my 1st bid and get it... and not have to go through a second round of bidding...

worse to worse i'll just have to switch my stream, file for graduation for next semester, then go out and start a business... something like that.. or study something else that is useful... bah! >(

alright... i'm back.. a few days since i've got time and energy to add in some words here.. been working at the adidas holiday sale, over at the salomon skatefest and it's been wonderful! i've met many old friends, made new ones, and also have new ones i wanna make! :)~~~ hehehehehe

it was really a rush those few days... with so many skates for sale at unbelievable prices, i've been on my feet, on my knees, on my butt, got cut by cardboard, talk till my throat is dry.. hehehe.. all for the brand man... but i got a good return for it.. some new clothes and a pair of new skates! hruhruhurhurhur...

well, it's time to choose hyp and it's tedious.. going for interviews with the potential supervisors soon.. so i really hope i get the hyp i want... hopefully hopefully...

that's about all.. i hope i make some of the new friends soon! hehehee

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
have to choose HYP already.. stress stress stress stress.. coupled with lack of sleep.. this is horrible...
>(

okie..
friday sat sun is the adidas/salomon warehouse sale. expo hall 4B. go for it~ 11am onward.

hey it's wednesday already.. last night was spent at yen's place doing the damn 3261.. managed to throw in a finance tutorial along with it.. got the in lecture advertisement up.. well, at least yen did.. while i added stuff to the main documentation.. it's tedious tedious.. and now i've got to get started on 4265... i think i need more sleep before i get down to it.. grrr....

anyways the ski and snowboard fever has hit me once again.. i'm all raring to go back into the snow at perisher! yeah! i'm like "living" the days spent at the ski resort.. during the road trip.. i just keep getting flashbacks..
i used to think it's crazy that people would have vivid flashbacks like on tv.. but i realise it's very very vivid these flashbacks i'm having.. it's like i'm there at the same time i'm here.. it's not like i'm sleeping or something.. i'm basically awake.. and alert.. but i can be at 2 places at the same time... freaky.. but shiok.. gets my heart pumping.. sometimes it's like i'm a spectator at the scene i've been at.. looking from a 3rd person perspective.. hahahaha

alright gotta get started on the next finance chapter and see if i can make head and tail of it.. kekekekeke.. and 4265... argh.

hehehehe.. i spent so much time sleeping today.... no good no good.. i have to kick the habit of sleeping during tt time on mondays.. the time is during my law lect.. but i skipped law lect to sleep.. while my friends concurred on the 3261 poster.

i've reignited my passion for skiing once again, but this year i'll get to snowboard, damn cool damn cool.. and can skiboard also.. wah buey tahan... very excited already...

anyway work seems to be in pace already... so all is not lost yet! hehehehe... alright.. nothign much to update today,.. the corolla's going for servicing on wednesday.. so
i'll be carless for a day.. woohoo.. can take bus.. hope got pretty ones to look at.. hahahahhaha =P

alright! this has been a full sunday! woke up for lunch then went out to ecp for a single lesson. this student is not too bad, i think she's got talent.. able to balance.. and is quite confident, even for her age, being a mother of 4 kids.... alright.. got so much work left to do.... 4265 especially.. it's really difficult to decide which parts are important, since the module has no tutorials to shed light on what's hot and what's not..

it's a new week and looks like i don't have to be a commuter anymore! woohoo! i get to use the corolla.. and hopefully my dad's camry comes sooner...

okie that's all for now.. been a lazy sunny/cloudy/sunny sunday.. hope the week gets better and i can get lotsa work done

long terrible day. started it out with 2 tests. both finance. a midterm then an in class quiz. horrible horrible horrible. got to study much harder. stuff came out that i was supposed to have known how to do.. but alas.. moronic me didn't study hard enough..
it's time to focus on my studies! i don't want to slip into 3rd class.. if you know what i mean...
time to bi guan xiu lian!!!
this coming week there's going to be an adidas warehouse sale at expo, fri-sun.. go check out the 2002 super saver deals there... but go early.. sizes and stock are limited.. esp if you go on sunday. hiakz.
from iHomes to GSpot to inno.. that's how many times the project has changed... geeze... i hope we can make it for marketing.. such a torture..

then there's still 65.. argh.. more to come.. lots of evil.. and next week i'm back to becoming a commuter~ heh.

that's all for now.. got to teach tomorrow.. how i wish it rains. hehehe.

today is a long boring day... having slept less than 6 hours after returning from ian's place... wahlanz.. i woke up then had lunch then went to ecp to study my finance..
i'd say i got a bit of hard core memorizing done... that's the most i can do.. just try to regurgitate the formulas and apply them to questions tomorrow.. *cross fingers and toes*

i fixed up new wheels on my skates.. it's such a big different.. i was like flying! pity my left knee isn't exactly being friendly...

other than that it's been a boring day.. i'm going to sleep now.. pray for my finance. thanks.

everything works fine for now. i just got home from a long session at ian's place. we started out by deciding with a new idea for our marketing project
from intelligent homes to men's spa. hehehe. what a drastic change. i hope we have time for posters and advertising. we're not going to waste time collecting information in the lecture already, just going to do real time surveys in the streets, asking people if they would go to a spa.

anyways after christina left me cheen and ian went out to 7eleven to get some drinks, hang around and talk cock. then there was this woman, who was just sitting there, with her mountain bike at a coffeeshop that closed.. skimpily dressed, she seemed like she was waiting for.. CUSTOMERS! weird eh, freelance at this kind of place, at this kind of time, it was around 3am plus.. we left at 4am odd.. she left slightly before us.. she went to the phone booth twice, and cycled around the area slowly twice.. and she didn't look like she could handle the bike well.. hahahaha...

hehehe.. so? freelance pro or just hanging out waiting for friend?

i've got new wheels for my skates! yeah!!!!

okie more tomorrow... gotta mug for finance.. do 3261, do 4264, do 4265... ARGH...>(

Google buys Pyra.. wow.. and after hearing that news I can't login. Some service quality. Heh.

I went to Fort Road to skate a bit on my 5 wheels last night, tiring man, but it's good to release the tension built up from all the studying that I did
that evening.

It was a horrible lazy Wednesday, I woke up at lunchtime, ate lunch, read 1 chapter of finance, then fell asleep until dinner... *oink*

So it caused me to be unable to sleep, and I decided to watch sweet home alabama. Reese Witherspoon is so cute in her quirky little way.. heh.. just like
some people I know...

It's Thursday, ever nearer to the horrible deadlines and tests and what nots. Argh.

okie....
some more to add to the scary shit.. your liver does produce cells called macrophages, that are part of your bodies' immune system.. these killer cells go around eating up your cancer cells.. so well.. we've got to keep a healthy lifestyle... and don't just rely on them nice macrophages.. what if these macrophages get mutated!

i rediscovered the joy of skating on 5 wheels today.. tried out a pair of very stable 5 wheels.. hahaha.. looks like i'm going to be doing some relaxed cruising up and down ecp for fun soon... i guess slalom is just too taxing on the knees...

so much work to do.. the more tutorials for 3261 i attend the more disgusted i am with the module.. on how it masquerades as a simple module.. but yet it's so difficult..

argh.

okie.. time to study for my finance midterm on sat

oh.. something new, i'm listening to zeor 7 - destiny now.. go check it out if you can.. go find their simple things remixes CD. $25 at hmv.

hi! i'm back!
wow! a month since i last updated.. been really busy with school and having a regular life that's it's so mundane..
that i've nothing special to say! hahahaha
well, updates on the skating scene for the uninitiated then...
i'm planning a big skating activity for the june holidays, stay tuned....
other than that i'm glad to meet new people and catch up with old friends in the skating scene.. but now the only problem is my left knee,
which has decided to give up on me.. which has relegated me to non active skater status...

i'm waiting for the new skates.. still teaching... and oh.. i got a new exercise bench in my room.. with weights and all that.. hurhur

and a new lava lamp...

i found out something interesting today...

it's about how your body need deep REM sleep from 10pm-3am for proper regeneration of your cells, i.e. dna replication....
and if you don't.. chances of cancerous cells, i.e. errors in the dna replication occuring are higher and... hruhru...
chance of cancer increases! scary right..

to be in deep REM sleep from 10pm - 3am, you need to start sleeping by 8pm, and the room has to be pitch dark.. ehhehehe

okie more next time!

treasure your body!